Perfectionism is a constant companion. It can be quiet for days, weeks, sometimes even months. It’s biding its time, waiting to strike. When it does, it fights dirty. A kick or punch to the kidneys. An elbow to the center of the back.
The tears flow unchecked when the blows come. You feel yourself wither. All the lies you thought you’d overcome come rushing back: You’re not good enough and never going to be good enough. You’re not going to achieve anything. You’re always going to be alone, you pathetic human being. Nobody’s ever going to love you.
You try to defend yourself against the blows, but your perfectionism seems to gain energy and power as it attacks. Your knees buckle. You fight, but you’re your own worst critic. You’re already criticizing your inability to defeat your perfectionism. The bell sounds, and another round goes to perfectionism.
How to escape the ring? How to remember to keep your arms up? How to hold your ground and stance when perfectionism scissors you? You’re already on the ground. What now?
Fight. Grapple your perfectionism into submission. Use a choke hold. An arm bar. Break its ankle. Do what you must. Call in the reinforcements. Overcome the lies with the truth. Shove it away and run for your life. Don’t stay and pretend you can beat it; you know you can’t. Get out of the house. Call a friend. Do something, anything.
If you’re saying it’s hard to remember to do those things when mid-battle, I know. I think that may be why I created the Emergency Hope Kit. I need a tool just as much as my fellow perfectionists do. I need a place to write out God’s truths. I need directions to get me moving toward the light and away from the darkness that threatens to consume. I need help to defeat my monster, so I open my journal.
I see my silly, delightful Write Right smile back at me. She tells me to keep going. She says to clean my house or make my favorite food for a neighbor or friend in need. She reminds me to take joy in the little things.
I pore over the words I’ve written in my journal. I recall that perfect love drives out fear. I am loved not because of what I’ve done or who I am but because of who God is. He fights for me if I will only be still.
Need help in battling perfectionism? Purchase a copy of Write Right’s Emergency Hope Kit, available on Amazon.