We have to fight them daily, like fleas, those many small worries about the morrow, for they sap our energies. – Etty Hillesum
Etty Hillesum writes of worries. She could make the same statement about insecurities, and it would hold true. Insecurities rob one of energy. They hold court in the mind. The person wavers, a boat tossed to and fro in the waves.
Such a person accomplishes little, if anything. Insecurities not only rob a person of energy and joy but also imprison her in a comparison trap. She loses sight of her calling. She forgets who she is. She either makes light of her efforts or takes pride in them. In either scenario, she isn’t working. She’s comparing herself to others. She’s forgotten that her work is not for herself. It’s for another and others.
Insecurities make her needy, too. She requires constant affirmation. She sucks her friends’ souls dry. She takes the compliments and praise and gives nothing in return. When criticism comes, she turns ostrich or porcupine. She hides, thinking the criticism will dissipate. If she goes on the defensive and attacks the person who only meant her good, she can’t be hurt. She can ignore the words and imagine all is well.
The world would tell her to do so. It recommends she deny the insecurities and seek security in herself. She needs only to expunge her doubts and worries and rely on herself. “All will be well,” the world promises. She discovers the world lies. Seeking sufficiency in herself is a wearisome business and one she cannot sustain.
The truth is she was never meant to carry that burden. She wasn’t designed to find sufficiency or security in herself. Both of those things come from another, a person who is steadfast and true. He never wearies. He carries her insecurities and fears for her. He says to come to Him and give Him her burdens.
When she does, she becomes a whole, put-together person. She will still struggle with her insecurities; she’s human. Fortunately, she knows to whom to turn when she encounters them.
She doesn’t seek to be strong or adequate in herself. She recalls her adequacy and strength comes from God. He keeps her from wavering. He uplifts her head when she wants to bury it in the dirt. He embraces her, quills and all. He sings over her and soothes her insecurities in the singing.