When your heart isn’t in it, you still work hard. You turn in your work on time. You continue to beat deadlines. You give your best efforts even if they feel false and pale in comparison to your usual ones. You trust that your heart will return to you, that you will find yourself giving your all, including all your heart, as you do your work.
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When you heart isn’t in it, you trudge through mud. You wipe away the rain falling into your eyes. You take one step and another even as the mud sucks at your feet and threatens to claim your shoes. You hold onto the smallest hope you have even if it’s a piece of bread going to mold in your pocket or some damp kindling. Come nightfall, you coax the kindling into a fire that will warm you and any companions who join you because even when your heart seems to have gone missing, you look out for the hearts of others. This is your sacred duty. This is your calling.
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When your heart isn’t in it, you do your best not to complain. You keep the whining at bay; whining does you no good and only makes the situation that much harder to bear. You don’t compare yourself or your situation to others. You remember that you are better off than many even as the tears fill your eyes and fall. You remember from where you have come. You ignore the siren call of where you could be. You want to hope for that future, but you also have to hold onto reality. You have to be present in the day-to-day and not worry about the past or the future. You do your best to remain cheerful. You grasp onto small moments of happiness. You hold onto them and remember them when your days seem altogether dark.
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When your heart isn’t in it, you share your burden with those closest to you. You know you aren’t to complain, but you do have to share your anxiety with someone. You have to lift up your concerns in prayer. You have to embrace and rely upon your merry men and women. You have to be vulnerable with them. You have to share how your heart aches even if you’re afraid that admitting the truth will cause your friends to abandon you on that muddy, trampled track.
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When your heart isn’t in it…when your heart isn’t in it, you hold on, fingers and knuckles turning white as you cling to the cliff face. You hold on and wait and persevere and begin to climb because even when your heart isn’t in it, you have to climb or fall.
Image: missteee (CC BY NC SA 2.0)