I’ve learned through freelancing and working at a boutique marketing agency that it’s important to hedge my bets. The pipeline needs to be kept full. The backup plan should always be in motion. I shouldn’t be so reliant on one contract that losing it will kill the business.
I know these things and know them to be true. I also know, however, how dangerous the philosophy of hedging my bets is. I need to be out networking in the Austin community, but I need to trust God, too. Trust, not hedged bets or backup plans. Trust, not relying on myself, believing myself to be adequate.
I struggle on both sides of the equation. When I’m not networking—or pass on an event I RSVPed to—I tend to feel guilty. Maybe I’m not being a good steward of what God’s given me. Perhaps I’m not acting wisely or making careful plans.
When I’m caught up in networking and seeking out contracts, I forget about God until he steps onto the scene, asks me what I’m doing. I start and realize I’ve done it again: I’m seeking identity in what I do, not in whose I am. I’m worrying again, trying to force things to work, attempting to maintain control. I am not trusting in who God is or his promise to provide for me.
I’m not sure there’s an easy forward with trusting or hedging. I’m equally unsure that I should pursue some sort of “balance.” The tension is a good thing. It keeps me in check. It prods me toward what I need to do. More importantly, it reminds me to whom I belong.
Image: Dave Catchpole (Creative Commons)