I should be terrified about starting a business, but I’m not. Six months ago, I might have had some nervousness. A year ago? I would have been petrified with fear. The news about Tenacity5 winding down in three months would have been like staring into the eyes of Medusa—never a good idea unless one’s remembered to keep a reflective shield at the ready.
Why aren’t I afraid? Some might say it’s from the knowledge I’ve gained working at Tenacity5, and it’s true, I have. I’ve learned a lot and grown a lot. I’m more confident these days. (I can hear my poetry mentor cheering all the way from Wimberley.) I know that I know my stuff. I can strategize; I can write.
Even so, I don’t believe that’s where my lack of fear resides. Nor is it where my confidence ultimately lies. Putting my trust in knowledge is a risky business. It isn’t a solid foundation for anything. Plus, my writing ebbs and flows. It’s not always easy or fast, no matter how it looks to the external observer. No, I can’t rest in my knowledge or abilities. That only leads to worry and running the rat race.
True confidence—the unshakeable kind that weathers whatever life throws at me—is found in Christ alone. Oh, I still worry. I struggle with fear and control, but underneath all that is this weird certainty that everything is going to be alright. Everything is going to be golden because He’s in charge, and He gives good gifts to his kids. I can rest and wait and bounce on the balls of my feet as I ask Him, “What’s next, Daddy? What? What? Let’s go!”
Image: EladeManu (Creative Commons)