If you want to get better at what you do, you have to have three qualities: love, attention, and consistency. If you want to meet the goals you’ve set, you need the same three things. If you want someone to know you care for them, you also need those three things. You have to give that person love and attention and do so with consistency.
It isn’t enough to show up in a haphazard manner. It isn’t enough to take one day out of the month to work on your craft. It isn’t enough to send a text message every three weeks. You have to show up regularly. Not only that, but you also have to show up regularly and do the work of developing your talent. You have to talk with the person for whom you care. If you don’t do those things, your talent and skills languish as does the relationship.
You also have to let your work, goals, and people know you care. You can do that vocally, but, more likely than not, you’ll do so nonverbally. You’ll remember a detail about the person you care about and let them know you thought of them. You’ll sit at the desk and work on your writing or stand at the easel and sketch. You’ll do all those things, and you’ll do them without complaining because you love your work, you love what you’re trying to accomplish, and you, at the very least, like the person you’re trying to get to know.
You pay attention, too. You notice when your work is struggling and assess why. You notice when the person you like or love is quieter than usual and ask and ask and ask until they tell you what is bothering them. Both the work and the person are like newly planted flowers or the kitten you just brought home. You have to give them attention and care for their needs. Unlike the flowers or the kitten that grows into the stereotypical anti-human creature, your work and the person will require attention for as long as you’re alive. You can’t coast. You can’t set yourself on auto-pilot. You have to pay attention to what brings joy and what brings pain. You have to know that your work unfolds when you’re in the quiet or when you’re listening to a soundtrack. You have to know that your person prefers one type of chocolate to another.
If you are serious about your work, your goals, or another person, you have no choice. You have to give them love and attention consistently. When you do, you’ll see your work mature, your goals become attainable, and your person – the one who drives you mad with their idiosyncrasy about front-facing the condiments in the refrigerator — become and remain a beloved treasure.
Image: Adriana Cecchi (Creative Commons)
[…] Nobody – not even the prodigies – awakes one morning and finds that they’re capable of doing quality work. The prodigies may have a head start with talent, but every one – every one – has to put in time and effort. They have to do the work, and they have to do it with love, attention, and consistency. […]