Run like hell my dear,
From anyone likely
To put a sharp knife
Into the sacred, tender vision
Of your beautiful heart.
Hafiz, “We Have Not Come to Take Prisoners”
Conventional wisdom says to say “yes” to every opportunity. The point has some validity; when you’re first starting out and not sure which direction to go, you should try as many avenues as possible. You’ll quickly discover which ones are ill-suited at the present moment, which ones aren’t yours to attempt, and which ones are “just right.”
Once you discover that third avenue, you shouldn’t continue to say “yes” to every opportunity. You now have a clearer understanding of who you are and what you’re meant to do, which means you have a responsibility to treasure and protect those two things. You have to say “no” to the opportunities that threaten them.
To do otherwise is to willfully and knowingly plunge the “sharp knife” into the “sacred, tender vision / Of your beautiful heart.” You can’t blame anyone else for that sort of hurt; you were the one who made the wrong choice. If you recognize the fact, you change direction. You backtrack your steps and return to the right course.
That course means you will have to say “no.” You will have to limit your options, but you shouldn’t view that limitation as an imposition on your freedom. No, setting limits frees you to live an expansive, put-together life, a life that fosters your heart’s sacred, tender vision and keeps you from the hurt and guilt of choosing a way that never should have been an option in the first place.
Image: nestor panelo (Creative Commons)
It makes no sense, intellectually, that saying “no” means you can say “yes” more deeply to the choices you have made. And it makes no sense how we’re all too often drawn to people with knives in their hands and our hearts in their crosshairs. But these are exactly the kinds of upside-down rules that should guide our lives. Thanks, Erin; a lovely post.
magriebler Thank you for reading the post and leaving a comment.
I suppose this last year, particularly the past few months, has been one of growing in wisdom. We have to say “yes” to the things, as Vonnegut says, that “make your soul grow” and no to the others. The things that feed the soul are what make for long-term happiness and joy.