Some weeks, much of my writing is done for others. By the end of those weeks, I begin to feel edgy. Writing for others may bring some satisfaction, but it’s writing for myself – writing that may or may not be shared publicly – that brings it wholly.
I don’t know if that makes any sense whatsoever. It may seem self-centered. I feel that it is self-centered. I only know that if I don’t do some sort of writing that forces me into the unknown that I start to feel nervous. I begin to feel guilty, disoriented. I feel that I haven’t accomplished much even if I’ve written content for clients or places I volunteer. I find myself worrying about getting back to that writing because it is something I very much need. It grounds me. It refreshes my spirit. It helps me to focus and to work through things and to write even better copy for my clients.
Since I know this about myself, I do the self-centered thing: I take time to write for myself. I write for myself first then worry about it being something I can share with others. I find that time where I can; I love to write in the morning, but a day job and client work and cross fit and volunteer activities and friendships and other responsibilities sometimes interfere. Some of those interferences are really good things, and I treasure them. I know, though, that I sometimes have to ignore the good things for a while so that I can write, so that I can meet the self that isn’t encumbered with worry, doubts, and fears. I write so that I can be fully present when I am interacting with those other things be they the really good things or the responsibilities of day-to-day and minute-by-minute living.
What about you? Do you find that you get “edgy” when you don’t write?
Image: Zavarykin Sergey (CC BY NC SA 2.0)
before I considered myself a real writer, I blamed this “edgy” feeling on just about everything: the weather, pancakes…no new episodes of LOST. yeah, i was quite lost as an undiagnosed writer. now my symptoms are solved. glad I’m not alone! great post.
itsjessicann Yes, once you figure out what you’re meant or called to do, you begin to miss it when you’re not doing it.
Welcome to the writers club! We should have blueberry pancakes at our club meetings.
No, this makes sense. No one likes to sell their talents for commercial use. But even Michaelangelo had patrons. Such is the life of a creative spirit that must eat.
geoffliving True. I guess I have more company in this boat than I originally thought.