The Approval Gods

Perfect love casts out fear. It also casts out the need to prove my worth. Worth isn’t found in performance and approval. It’s found in resting, in being.

That is, worth is found in identity, but it’s easy to equate identity with what I do, the person I am or am not with, or how I’m perceived. It’s no way to live life; I end up insecure and consumed by worry and doubt. Does he like me? Why doesn’t he like me? Did I do a good job? What’s wrong with me?

It’s a rat race. I chase the scent of cheese, only to be disappointed time and time again. There is no cheese, or, if there is, it satisfies only momentarily. The insecurity returns. The doubt. The fear. I have not been made perfect in love. I am trapped in the maze. I start it again, hoping for different results, and am driven mad when the results turn out exactly the same.

Different results only occur as I am made perfect in love. I pause, peel back the layers, and take a long, hard look at myself. To whom am I looking for approval? Why? Approval, in and of itself, isn’t a bad thing, but it completely deforms when it’s sought from the wrong things and people.

Approval must be found in God Himself. In His Word. He is the one who justifies; He is the One who casts out the need for approval. As I abide in Him, He makes me perfect in love. I cease striving. I still. I relearn that He is God, and He will be exalted among the nations.

I revisit His Words and see that He cherishes the ones who feel unloved and unwanted. Ugly, dark, insignificant. He shines His light into all the dark places, even the most hidden ones. It blinds. It hurts even as it heals. This light is antiseptic for the real wound, not the surface abrasion. God has no interest in bandaids. He wants to create whole, put-together people who get to experience the joy of walking with Him in this life and the life to come.

And that, that means I have to face the darkness. The truth that I’m drawn to mazes made by human hands. I don’t overcome those things with emotions or experiences but with the truth of God’s Word. He says I am His—forever and ever. I am His daughter. Because of who He is and what He has done, I am not only fully loved but also fully approved.

I can quit chasing the approval gods. I don’t need them. I’m already approved by the God who created the universe and rescued sinners. I just need to rest and stand firm in the truth. It is the only thing that will keep me out of the rat race. It is the only thing capable of healing the deepest wounds, and it is the only thing that can keep me from seeking approval in any other thing or person.

That is the truth. I know it. As it resonates in my heart and mind all the days of my life, it will set me free. I will walk as a child of the King, not as a shackled devotee of the approval gods.

Image: epSoS.de (Creative Commons)